Aries

Your wallet will get lighter and lighter, as more and more Republican tax cuts expire.

Leo

Your conversations with terrorists will be free and clear of any government wiretapping.

Sagittarius

Summer cold season is approaching, but don’t worry! The government will soon be taking charge of your health care.

Taurus

Your summers will get warmer and warmer as your once landlocked lot will become oceanfront property. Just ask Al Gore.

Virgo

Beware of experiencing too much prosperity and wealth; it may result in more burden and commitment to Uncle Sam.

Capricorn

The road ahead of you is clear; unless you’re driving, in which case you’ll face higher gas prices and taxes.

Gemini

A new job or promotion is in your future. If you’re a judge appointed by President Bush, however, it might take a while.

Libra

Your favorite television show will be routinely interrupted this month by updates on the Democrats' impeachment hearings of President Bush.

Aquarius

Feeling Ill? No worries, the government bureaucrats will make all of your difficult medical decisions for you!

Cancer

Luck is in the air: you will find yourself slightly richer. On the down side, it will be because you were part of a major class-action that put your employer out of business. Better make that $38.42 last! 

Scorpio

Significant life ceremonies are in store, but you will not have to worry about any prayers being a part of them.

Pisces

Are you feeling hot and cold, happy and sad, angry and content? The Democratic Party joins you in your indecision.